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I get so many emails asking me about whether to date someone who is separated, recently divorced, or even fresh out of a breakup that I wanted to tackle this tricky subject.

This can take months, if not years, with lawyers are the only ones tying the two people together.

I'm also frusterated with a man who wants me all to himself when he is supporting his wife and keeping her in a grand lifestyle. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but when people are truly finished with one another as marriage partners, they get divorced.... Only you can know what he does or doesn't do and how it makes you feel.

Financial issues are almost always created with a divorce, but when they don't consider themselves PARTNERS anymore, they each make their own way through them, seperately. If you pursue this, how he is now will not be how he will be a year from now,or divorced. Personally I don't get involved with men who are still mentally living with the ex, I don't see the point of a three way relationship.

We may be imagining all sorts of problems that may or may not exist or we’re rationalising our own boundaries, values, and even prior experiences of being in one of these situations (so knowing that we may struggle with the emotional consequences) and are thinking along the lines of, ‘Well…

I’m of a certain age so I need to prepare myself for turning a blind eye to any code amber / red actions and indications because people in this age group tend to be recently broken up / separated / divorced‘. There’s no easy answer to the question of what the ‘right time’ is for dating a separated or recently divorced person.

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If you would like to post your own experience or question please use the form at the bottom of this page. I would not recommend this relationship to anyone except someone looking for a one night stand.

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