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This isn’t a mutual relationship with love, care, trust, respect and shared values – this is two people playing to ‘win’, only they seem to have missed the memo that a relationship is about two people copiloting with a joint agenda not fighting for supremacy.

The ‘driver’ (there is always a more powerful party in unhealthy relationships that’s struggling with a ‘passenger’) wants things on their terms so not only do they want to do the relationship their way, but if they feel like it, they’re going to hang around like something rotting in your life until they see fit to be ‘done’ or you remove their seeming power over you by opting out.

You are mistaking love for power and so relationships become about you gaining power from someone or having the power to influence and change them, or feeling that because things haven’t gone your way that the only way that you can feel ‘whole’ again or proceed is if you forcibly or passive aggressively grab your power back from them.

You may even want the person and the relationship to be your ‘power supply’, breathing life into you and giving you an identity.

When you don’t have enough support, it’s harder to make things work the way you want them to.

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Doing little things for one another, like opening car doors and bringing flowers, cooking nice meals, and telling each other that you appreciate one another, can make all the difference. When you are struggling with your emotional connection to your partner, the rest of life becomes more difficult to navigate.

Unfortunately, most couples only get to stage two, and then they break up.

Some couples get to stage three and four, but they’re not really happy.

So, in the lust and romance stage of a relationship, which is otherwise known as the dating phase, the man and woman will experience a dump of natural chemicals in their brain; chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, phenylethylamine, and norepinephrine.

The thing is most Hollywood movies show this stage of a relationship as being the peak of a relationship.

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