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” Michael, she explains, “was a teacher, an improv actor and a drummer.

His favourite T-shirt, which he wore often, was vintage—but not in a hipster kind of way.

I hear people talk about it all the time: “I only date artistic-type people because I’m an artist” or “I prefer to date people in similar career fields as myself.”But what if you are overlooking a great catch because they don’t fit your “ideal type”?

This can happen fairly often, especially with online dating.

Ask someone who their “type” is and you’ll get responses ranging from an itemized shopping list full of physical, behavioral, cultural and occupational details to a laissez-faire, carpe-diem approach of “whoever shows up in my life.” When it comes to relationship longevity and happiness, however, the best “type” for anyone, regardless of age, race, gender or creed, is one who shares compatible core values that are rooted in the deepest levels of personality. The word “compatible” is thrown around a lot these days in everything from computer programs to finding true love.

Indeed, without compatibility in our lives, things just don’t work as well as they could—including romantic relationships.

“It’s not about throwing out your standards,” Syrtash told from her home in New York.

“It’s about being more open.” The now-married dating coach herself admits she was not at first physically attracted to her husband. I mean, he’s an attractive guy but it’s a funny thing,” she says.

“I dated these all-American clean-cut, more conservative-looking guys, and my husband is dark. He didn’t come in the package I thought was my type.” Syrtash connected with her husband, Michael, during a brief move back to Toronto. “He would walk into our house, put on my sister’s slippers and start making eggs without even saying hello!

Now, it should be noted that I am using the word dating in the most casual sense.

I refer to dating as in going out and having a good time, not dating as in moving in together and getting a dog.

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