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“But, I don’t want that to happen again,” she said, “I was trying to figure a lot of things out, and I didn’t handle things very well, but I completely adore having you as a friend. But don’t complain about the one class you are taking or how much school work you have to do. At times I’ve had to leave work early because I could no longer think straight. There, at one of exhibits, I meet a nice-looking, average-build man with a dark beard – a motorcycle mechanic who is working the exhibit. So, when the mechanic offers to help me with the carburetors on my motorcycle in exchange for dating advice, of course I take the offer. I change the subject, “When you ask that girl out, don’t ask for permission.” He obliges and talks about this girl he had a crush on in high school. Then again, I didn’t consider the mechanic someone I was dating. How I managed to put out a book in a year escapes me, except for the fact that one thing had motivated me: wanting to help people. Then we went to a Halloween party, and this happened. The comment dropped as though we were talking about the weather or the next soccer match. I want you in my life, and if it’s not going to work out the way I may want it to, then I just need to get the hell over it.” Sheila glanced up and to the left, then looked back at me. I mean maybe you should let go and not worry about where it’s going. In fact, I don’t really care if you have a college education at all. This year I hope to get on the race track and surpass my current street top speed of 95 mph. So, the International Motorcycle Show comes around and I go. Drawing on past experiences to write about dating and relationships is enough. Since I’m hungry, we go to a restaurant and sit down. “You realize that I made that offer to get you to come up here.” It didn’t register. After months of examinations and therapy, I finally realized that I had been living for the previous 10 years with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from 9-11.Make sure you choose a swanky place so that you can drift away amidst the relaxing sounds and natural aromatherapy. I have written about Sheila in the past, and while we always were friends, there was a period of time that we stopped communicating. Well, she stopped answering my texts, and I stopped trying. But when you say you don’t have time to do your laundry, and then talk about the pot you smoked, it pisses me off that you expect me to travel an hour to you when I have three jobs and have to use weekends to get my work done. But mostly because he was a mechanic not too far away who offered to help me with my bike, and that I could just stop by. I was not thinking about his body language, or the fact that his offer was an outright invitation to get to know him better. (Funny, because before joining DT, I was trying to buy the domain.) The other writers got busy with other priorities.You might think your former other half isn’t human, but alas it’s true. Get some exercise be it walking, jogging, or running. Your endorphins will help you think more clearly after the dread you just faced. After a divorce, there’s a chance you think that people suck. Isolating yourself after a big life change probably isn’t a good idea. I didn’t know why she stopped talking to me on a regular basis, and while in my head, I was trying not to take it personally, my heart was not going to be a compliant follower. I had just gotten to the point where I was ready to forget her, and move on, then . Most of all, though you are doing what you think is everything you can do to better your life, the fact that you have mostly negative things to say makes me think it’s your attitude that needs to be better rather than your life. It’s been 4 months since starting to work with a therapist for 9-11 trauma, and I’ve been blessed by the presence of amazing people who have been supportive. Nor did I think that the Facebook message was strange, since I gave him my card… I didn’t give him anything but the bookmark that advertises the Alpha Dog book. But since I have a book, I stuck around and eked out articles. I believe it’s divine intervention, or the universe at work, that caused the spring of emotions to coincide with the drop in book sales. And he points out little things he fixed on my bike. He asks questions about how he can be an alpha without the cash.

Fortunately, we can also triumph over loneliness either by learning to be comfortable alone or by finding companionship. Superfine is run by the coolest women who keep the 20th century alive with weekend DJs, bluegrass bands, and occasional burlesque extravaganzas.Granted, by this time we each had had a cocktail and a half bottle of wine. At the garage he tells me that his high school crush has a boyfriend. The next weekend, I thought long and hard about the mechanic’s pursuit. “Okay,” I said, not sure if I really wanted to make another 40 mile trip. In spite of having no college degree, he is still a lot smarter than most people. It helped knowing that his personality type is “perceiving”, meaning he likes to keep his options open, and has a hard time making big life decisions. Once again, he made the 40 mile drive to pick me up.




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