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”In the gay world these days, you would be forgiven for thinking that a well-angled selfie of a healthy looking body is given greater weighting than values, goals and personality.

Single gay men often come to me feeling that online dating is far too sexualised and focused on ‘hooking up’ and are doubtful that any like-minded men are out there looking for a long-term relationship.

It has also allowed anonymity, exploration of sexuality and a way to check out our neighbours from the comfort of our own sofa.

Unfortunately, the gay dating pool is viciously competitive. Either play the gay dating game or get out of the other gay guys' way! The goal is for the single gay community to know you're in circulation.2. Going to the same coffee shop, grocery store and gym leads to the same scenery and the same results. When you hide from your truth, it won't set you free. " Constantly in a tailspin with the same old audio tapes playing in your head? Gay dating is a chore that eventually leads to feeling depressed and lonely ... Even if you feel like a fool, you'll rack up the frequent heartbreak points that will eventually pay for an all-expenses-paid trip to true love. The more you look to others to validate your existence, your value and your self-worth, the deeper the hole gets for you to lay in and have sand kicked in your face.

That cozy warm space of dating your way will find you.10. You've heard it before: Trust is the basis of everything.

But honey, practice makes perfect, and it starts with you.

Now what activity would be so out of the box for you, it might put you in a space to meet new guys, make friends with people who have gay friends or try a new hobby? If you really want a guy who appreciates monogamy, then hanging out with people who have open relationships probably isn't the best place to meet Mr. From sex to finances and family to intellectual awareness, letting your true desires show up doesn't make you weak, weird or wacky. The more you make excuses for why your gay dating life is the toilet, the less chance of it shifting in a positive way.

Find your stride, your way, your place and snuggle in.

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