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I was new to the online dating scene and a little hesitant at first.

That was back in the days before Tinder became popular and online dating wasn’t as socially acceptable.

I did find Japanese guys very attractive, but they would never approach me, being notoriously shy around foreign women.

I could sometimes detect a flicker of interest, at most, before they ran away. From what I gathered from my Japanese girlfriends, it seemed to involve a lot of passiveness, indirect communication, text messaging, misunderstandings and patience.

Before we start talking about “Dating in Japan” one thing should be crystal clear: If you’ve ever been to Japan you might have noticed that there’s a tremendous number of (often not so handsome) foreign guys walking hand-in-hand with Japanese women.

However, be warned: If you want to read about bragging stories of all those Western guys who get laid a hundred times per day, then you came to the wrong place. You certainly won’t find that here – and not from a foreign girl like me!

If we think for a moment about the changes that have happened in society over the years, this makes perfect sense: more and more people move to larger cities for their job hunt, losing their social connections in the process.

These "beautiful women" were regular company employees (some of whom were not women at all) running a catfish scam colloquially called sakura, collecting the subscription fees as long as they could.

While lots of legit apps are on the market now, in 2015 eight executives of several popular Japanese dating websites have been arrested on similar allegations, as reported by The Daily Mail.

Nowadays, however, an increasing number of young people seem to be comfortable looking for a partner online.

And at the same time there’s only a very tiny number of foreign (read: non-Asian) women with Japanese men next to them. Maybe that’s a secret we’ll never quite get, but there are many theories!

A lot of Japanese women want a guy that tells them several times a day how much he loves them.




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