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One of the most exciting times in a relationship is at the beginning.Getting to know someone new and trying new activities together is a lot of fun.In the beginning, marriage was essentially a business transaction designed to increase the power, legacy, wealth and reputation of a family name.Historically, extra-marital affairs were common, permissible and especially in the male’s case, not seen by the courts as substantial grounds for divorce.Looking back I could see many clues, but I couldn't gainsay his denials.Part of the problem was that, because of this friendship, he couldn't help but withdraw some of himself, and his support, from me.I thought about how many women had been in my position, waiting for a man to leave his wife.As the lover you get the edited highlights of a marriage: the laughter, the smiles, the sex. But what we lacked was emotional closeness — that lovely sense of wasting time together and the accompanying feeling of certainty. And I’ve made myself a promise: in my next relationship, I want Sunday nights and Monday mornings together, and all the boring minutiae of daily life that couples take for granted.

And since extra-marital affairs have been in existence for just as long as the institution of marriage, I think it is time we stopped looking at affairs as heinous crimes and instead as a natural occurrences. Marriage was invented to legitimize offspring so that parents could pass down any assets acquired over their lifetime to heirs.What kept me together emotionally was knowing she was waiting in the wings. I would wait until her son finished school if that was what she wanted.I would give up on having children of my own if it meant being with her.Regardless of your feelings about affairs, the fact is there are some benefits to cheating.The most common reason people have an affair is for sex.

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