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After all, most folks in the LGBTQIA community have a “coming out” story because compulsory heterosexuality is so pervasive.Some of us have to risk our safety, relationships with family members, jobs, and housing just to publicly peel back the sexual orientation and/or gender that was assigned to us and declare our truth.There’s so much that can niggle away in an otherwise perfect match. Performing a background check to make sure you don’t have any exes in common with your date is a uniquely gay Deal Breaker, but a necessary evil.Sitting down over your first glass of Chardonnay and listing your recent partners in the order of how much you care(d) about them is seat-squirmingly awkward, butit’s undeniable – Having an ex in common is riddled with issues. Knowing the bouncer, the bartender, and the bulk of the crowd in the gay club is great when you’re single, but if you’re serious about finding someone, you slow it down.Maybe it was my aloofness that drew in the dudes (straight girls take note), but damn, dudes were easy like ~Sunday morning~.All you have to do is bat a lash, act entirely disinterested, cold and bitchy, and boys will fall at your feet.Recently, I’ve been getting a lot of private Facebook messages from baby lesbians who are freshly out of the closet and asking me all kinds of questions:“How do I date girls? I will never forget how terrified I was when I first realized I wanted to exclusively swim in the girl pond. I exerted zero effort into attracting boy creatures, but I learned quickly that I didn’t really need to.

If someone has taken the time to email you and ask questions, it’s important that you reply with the same care and consideration.Answer honestly, clearly and concisely and show that you’re interested by asking them a few questions, too.Whilst it’s important that your reply allows someone the chance to get to know more about you beyond what’s written in your profile, it’s also important to keep things short and sweet.Stories about when you fainted in front of George Clooney and held a tarantula in Oz will make for excellent conversation starters when you get to meet your date in person, so save them for that moment!Being ultra-careful about spelling and grammar will highlight your intelligence as well as the care you have taken in sending the message.

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