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The little voice inside my head says, ‘You should be somewhere else. You should let it go.’ “I think they’ll be better now that I’m gone.I think I held them back from being their best, because I was so against all the things that were going on.” So if he left Limp Bizkit because he felt like was selling out and his “heart [was] going black,” and returned because “No matter what I did, that was me,” is he ostensibly saying that he’s a sellout with a black heart? At the same time, he continued with his guitar studies, something he picked up in Nashville. His first wife was Heather Mc Millen, which lasted from 1998 to 2001.

All Music: As you get older, what remains exciting to you about music? I’m just going to have all blank canvases, all blank hard drives, and go.

I’m speaking, specifically, of Borland’s answer as to why he returned to Limp Bizkit after quitting in 2001: “People say, ‘You went back to Limp Bizkit because your other band failed.’ No, those things are not true.

I went back to Limp Bizkit because it felt like I couldn’t get it out of my blood. No matter what I did, that was me.”“Bells start going off, like, ‘This is what it feels like to sell out.’ I’m enjoying all the perks of [Limp Bizkit], but I feel my heart is going black, because this is not what I’m called to do.

Bizkit are about to headline the Ship Rocked cruise, along with a whole mess of other nü-metal bands, and Borland seemed to be dreading the prospect.

In an Instagram post, he said as much: “Whenever we aren’t on stage, I’ll be curled up fetal position in my cabin, palms up, while I desperately cling to the last week of my thirties as it slips through my hooked fingers.” After I wrote the post, Borland reached out to me on Twitter, and we talked on the phone this afternoon.

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